11 Heels from Hell

Ah! A woman and her love for shoes…a tale as old as time, a mystery as mysterious as life itself. I will never quite get why Cinderella didn’t turn back to get the gorgeous glass shoe and chose the pumpkin carriage instead, silly spells be damned! Unless, the glass shoe was secretly… a shoe from hell…like these 17 heels from hell. What can I say, some shoes were just not made for walking!

1. Antonio Berdari Heel-less Boots

Victoria Beckham wore these Antonio Berdari latex heel-less thigh high boots to the Beckhams’ perfume launch in NYC back in 2008. Trust the fierce Mrs. Beckham to readily try gravity defying fashion stunts….and pull them off!

2. Christian Louboutin Extreme Ballerina Heels

Louboutins almost always make me gasp but this time for completely different reasons! Who in the world is going to walk in those and more importantly how?! Thankfully, these were meant to be solely an exhibition piece at David Lynch’s Fetish exhibition at the Galerie du Passage in Paris. Besides Louboutin himself said, “You can’t walk or run in these shoes.They’re only made for lying on your back.” Phew!

3. Eelko Moorer Wooden Stilts

While these “stilts” sort of defeat the purpose of wearing shoes in the first place, I have to say that they look intriguingly fantastic! Of course considering the creater Eelko Moorer studied 3D design along with a technical course in shoemaking and received his MA in product design, it is easy to see why his designs are so out there!

4. Alexander McQueen Geisha inspired Heels

I am a HUGE fan of alexander mcqueen’s work, god bless his soul. But these double planked heels are drecktitude personified! Yeah, I’m not breaking my feet for those.

5. Julian Hakes Mojito Shoes

When your inspiration is as unique as footprints in the sand, you expect nothing short of a gorgeous end result and that’s exactly what these Mojito shoes are. Unfortunately without a foot plate, I’m not so sure if they are as practical as they are beautiful. Such a pity!

6. Guo Pei’s Sky High Heels

I love the intricate geomterical details in these shoes but I usually find it quite a task to walk with normal heels and I’m pretty I’m going down face first with these on.

7. Alexander Mcqueen Platform Boots

Ooo dizzying! Frighteningly dizzying! 12 inch leather boots are no joke my lovelies and Heidi Klum did it every bit the justice it deserved while shooting for German Vogue. Shoes like this are probably the reason why Heidi’s legs are insured for a whopping $2.2 million!

8. Polly Veirty Masochist Heels

Ouch! Can you imagine the entire weight of your body resting on a bunch of flimsy wires?! I know fashion trumps pain when it comes to beauty (sometimes) but these aren’t even pretty! Yep, clearly a sacrifice I’m not willing to make!

9. Prismatic Paper Shoes

I’m all for recycling and showing love for mother earth etc. but I’m not sure how well these paper shoes by Mathieu Missiaen and Julien Morin fit into that plan. Clearly, this idea does not translate from art to fashion but I do have to say that I LOVE them! Have you seen happier shoes? Or more colorful shoes for that matter?

10. Alexander McQueen Armadillo Heels

When I started this post, I knew McQueen would feature more than once and here we are! Who doesn’t remember these bizarre shoes from McQueen’s spring 2010 collection? I haven’t still made up my mind about whether I love them or hate them but I just can’t stop staring at them! Btw, there are only 21 of these in existence but considering only the *very* brave would even think about slipping into these, that shouldn’t be a problem.

11. World’s Highest Heels

This post would be incomplete without including these shoes. With 16 inch heels and 11 inch platforms, produced by LadyBWear Limited, these are officially the world’s tallest heels and hold a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. 16 inches is mad I tell you! Mad!  On a side note, if there was a spot for the ugliest shoes in the list, I bet these would be in the top five.

Wow! I don’t have a fear of heights but any of these shoes could change that. Seriously, models you are a brave kind! Which of these heels from hell gave you the heebie-jeebies?